Does Islam allow child marriage?

First, we need to understand how marriage and relationships are seen in Islam. Islam doesn't approve of any romantic relationship between a man and a woman except marriage, so it’s the only permissible way to fulfill one’s emotional and sexual desire.

And that has many reasons, with some of the clearest ones being protecting children from having an unknown father, an unstable household, and an unstable society, as well as protecting the rights of both the man and the woman so they can have a fulfilling marriage and provide stability and emotional safety for their children. This helps create a society made up of stable, thriving individuals who had a good, righteous, and stable upbringing and positive role models.

Islam forbids Zina/sexual relationships outside marriage completely. It might sound a bit unrealistic in today's day and age because of how widespread casual relationships are, but you will see that the Islamic system is realistic once you know its conditions and how the system works.

For a marriage to be valid in Islam, there are certain conditions that need to be met. The conditions that are relevant to our topic are:

• Consent: Both the man and the woman must consent to the marriage and be mature enough for marriage.

• Wali (guardian): The woman has a wali who represents and protects her interests in the marriage.

• No harm: The marriage must not involve clear harm or injustice toward either person.

There are also other conditions for a valid Islamic marriage, such as having witnesses who witness the marriage agreement and making sure there is nothing that prevents the marriage from being valid, like the man being a non-Muslim. But we will focus on these three in this post, as they are the relevant ones to our topic.

As we can see, Islam does not set one specific age that applies to everyone, because people are different and their readiness for marriage can differ. Some people may not be ready even after reaching the legal age, while others may become ready earlier.

Since Islam is for everyone and for all times and places, it takes these differences into account rather than setting one age that would be suitable for some people but unsuitable for others.

The Consent

It is not allowed to force a woman to marry someone.

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission."

Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari 5136

For consent to be valid, the woman needs to have the physical and mental maturity required for marriage. So whenever a woman understands the duties and responsibilities of marriage and is ready for it, she can get married regardless of her age.

The same applies to the man. Whenever he can provide the basic needs to start a family and is mature enough, he is allowed to get married.

It was narrated that 'Abdullah said:

"We went out with the Messenger of Allah and we were young men who could not afford anything. He said: 'O young men, you should get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and protecting one's chastity. Whoever cannot afford it should fast, for it will be a restraint for him.'"

Reference: Sunan an-Nasa'i 2239

A common question here is: but doesn't not putting an age allow children to get married?

Islamically, once a man or woman reaches puberty, they are held accountable for their actions in front of Allah and can consent.

A follow-up question might be: but in this day and age, teenagers who have reached puberty can't handle the responsibilities of marriage, so how can they get married?

This is where the role of the woman's guardian becomes important.

The woman's guardian is responsible for ensuring that she is ready and will not be harmed, and he will be held accountable in front of Allah if he knows that she will be harmed or that she isn't ready and still approves her marriage.

Generally, as a note, having people from both genders who have reached puberty but aren't mentally ready for marriage still having sexual relationships is a modern society problem. It has made us reach the point where people go into immature sexual relationships but can't handle the responsibilities of marriage.

That's not an Islamic problem. Islamically, if a person wants the pleasure of a relationship, they must be responsible for the consequences and the rights of the people involved.

As for casual relationships that make us more like animals, going after our pleasures without taking the consequences, that's a society-made problem.

Summary

Islamically, whenever the woman is ready/mature enough physically and mentally and wants to get married, she can get married at any age to any man she approves of, of course while the other conditions are fulfilled.

And a woman or a man who has reached puberty isn't called a child in Islam.

So Islam doesn't allow child marriage.

The Guardian

The guardian of the woman in Islam is the one who is responsible for her protection, provision, and safety and naturally cares about her the most: her father, her brother, her son, etc.

His role is to ensure that the woman is not being exploited by the man who wants to marry her, that she is ready for marriage, that the man is suitable for her, and that he will give her her rights.

The guardian can't force the woman to get married, nor can he refuse her marriage to a righteous man for no valid reason.

The guardian isn't there as a way to control the woman, but as a way to protect her from being exploited, since women normally tend to trust those to whom they are emotionally attached, even if they are not a suitable fit.

A Side Note

Women's emotions aren't seen as something negative, nor are they seen as something that needs changing, but as something that needs protection so they are not exploited by bad men.

The Prophet (ﷺ) said:

"O Allah, I declare inviolable the rights of two weak ones: the orphans and women."

Riyad as-Salihin 270

A question might arise here: what if the guardian is refusing the marriage for no valid reason and is making the woman's affairs harder?

In short, what happens in that case is that the woman consults a knowledgeable scholar to make sure that, Islamically, the current guardian isn't a suitable guardian, and then the guardianship transfers to another person.

No Harm

It was narrated from Ibn 'Abbas that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:

“There should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm.”

That's a general principle that applies to agreements between people, including marriage.

Islamically, if the man or the woman will be harmed by the marriage, they are not supposed to get married. And if either of them can't fulfil the rights of the other person in the marriage, they are not supposed to get married unless the other person knows and agrees.

And both points are regardless of age, as both cases can happen at any age.

Aisha's Marriage as an Example

Aisha is the wife of the Prophet, peace be upon him, and one of the most knowledgeable women in Islam. She transmitted more than 2,000 narrations of the Prophet, peace be upon him, and the companions of the Prophet (ﷺ) used to ask her for answers to their questions after the Prophet's death.

Aisha's marriage is a good example of what we mentioned above.

The consummation of the marriage happened when she was 9 years old.

Let's see if the conditions above apply to her case:

• Both the Prophet (ﷺ) and her consented to it.
  

• She was mature physically and mentally according to the narrations, and the Prophet (ﷺ) waited until she matured.
  

• No harm happened to her, and in fact, she had a happy marriage.
  

• Her guardian, Abu Bakr, was a very wise person and sought her best interest given the circumstances.
  

So all the conditions were there.

A question that might arise here: how come she wasn't harmed given her age and the age gap?

Well, that's a good question. And perhaps the best person to answer it is Aisha herself. Let's see what she said about her life with the Prophet, peace be upon him:

She told that God's Messenger said to her, “I know when you are pleased with me and when you are angry with me.” She asked how he knew that, and he replied that when she was pleased with him she said, “‘No, by Muhammad’s Lord,” but when she was angry with him she said, “No, by Abraham's Lord.” She then said, “I swear by God, Messenger of God, that that is so; it is only your name that I omit.” (Bukhari and Muslim.)

'A'isha told that when she was with God's Messenger on a journey, she raced him on foot and beat him, but when she grew, she raced him and he beat her. He said, “This makes up for that beating." Abu Dawud transmitted it.

Another important point showing that she had a choice in the marriage is that the Prophet, peace be upon him, later gave her and his other wives the choice between remaining married to him or being divorced, when this verse of the Quran was revealed:

Quran 33:28

“O Prophet! Say to your wives, ‘If you desire the life of this world and its luxury, then come, I will give you a ˹suitable˺ compensation ˹for divorce˺ and let you go graciously.’”

So what was Aisha's reaction when this verse was revealed?

The narration continues by describing what happened. When this verse was revealed, the Prophet, peace be upon him, went first to Aisha and told her that he wanted to ask her about something, but that she should not answer until she had consulted her parents. He then recited the verse to her and gave her the choice.

Her response was:

“Shall I consult my parents about you, Messenger of God? Nay, I choose God, His Messenger, and the final abode.”

Source and full story: https://sunnah.com/mishkat:3249

Adding to the above, she was one of the most knowledgeable women and transmitted hundreds of narrations after his death, so it is easy for any just person to see that she wasn't abused nor treated badly and that she was happy in her marriage.

And for those who claim otherwise, they are more than welcome to contact our team and come with proof that she was abused or unhappy, especially when she herself confirmed the opposite even years after the marriage.

So, does that mean that Muslims get their daughters married at that young age currently?

No, in the vast majority of places, it doesn't happen.

Islam gave people the freedom to choose what suits them. For example, some scholars chose not to get married at all because they couldn't afford to give the time and attention required for marriage. This means that in Islam, people are given the complete freedom to seek what works for them and what protects them from falling into what is forbidden.

A person in Islam, whether a man or a woman, has the full freedom to choose to get married young, get married when they are older, or not marry at all if that suits them.

The Prophet's first wife, Khadijah, was 40 years old and he was 25 years old. The majority of men today won't prefer marrying an older woman with that age gap.

The point is that marriage in Islam is flexible and gives no excuse for anyone to commit adultery. Whatever their age or the age gap, as long as the conditions are met, they can get married.

Which is a clear proof that Allah revealed this religion to suit people at any time and in any environment, while protecting their rights and giving enough flexibility.

Which One Allows Exploitation of Women: Islam or the West?

Lastly, Islam protected women's rights in marriage, no matter what her age, and protected her chastity and freedom of choice, so that no matter what age she can get married and not fall into the traps and harsh consequences of falling into adultery or a casual relationship with a man who doesn't want to commit, isn't serious, and is just seeking pleasure.

So it is really thought-provoking when some non-Muslims insult us for giving a woman the freedom to get married whenever she has the desire for it, under the care of the person who loves and cares about her the most, her father, while they have laws that don't allow a woman under 18 to have a stable marriage with all the rights that come with it because she isn't considered ready or mature enough for marriage. Yet in Germany, for example, a 14-year-old can legally have a sexual relationship while still being a minor but not allowed to get married.

They leave her to go through the trauma of having a child alone with no stability and going to courts to prove the paternity of that man, or she goes through the pain of aborting the child.

And as the NIH (National Library of Medicine) mentioned:

"One out of every 10 women aged 15-19 becomes pregnant each year in the United States. Of these pregnancies, five out of every six are unintended--92 percent of those conceived premaritally, and half of those conceived in marriage. The teenage pregnancy rate is high because only a minority (one in three) of sexually active young women always use contraceptives, and only one in two of these women rely on the most effective methods. The two most common reasons given by adolescents for not using contraceptives are believing that the risk of pregnancy is small, and failing to anticipate intercourse. Experience in other developed countries clearly shows that the incidence of adolescent pregnancy can be reduced if effective contraceptives are made widely available."

Source: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3229472/

As we can see, the Western system failed to provide a real solution for this sector of people, and the best solution it offered was to suggest having more effective contraceptives. As for Islam, it offered them marriage and the possibility of starting a family whenever they are ready for it, and gave the man the responsibility of taking care of her and the children, providing for them, and supporting them. She won't need to run to the courts seeking to prove that he is the father or deal with any of this in an Islamic society. That's the difference between laws from God and laws that are human-made: human-made laws often treat people as if they are all the same and don't take into consideration how differently people will handle their lives.

So indeed, if Islam favored men and wanted to make women easy to exploit, it would have had the same system that we see in the West today, where the woman is left to face the consequences on her own with no rights, while the man doesn't owe her anything, and she is the one who needs to run after him to prove her rights. Meanwhile, he can easily go and repeat the same story again and again.

And a verse that can show us how Islam cared about women and their rights is:

Quran 4:19

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَرِثُوا۟ ٱلنِّسَآءَ كَرْهًۭا ۖ وَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُوا۟ بِبَعْضِ مَآ ءَاتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إِلَّآ أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَـٰحِشَةٍۢ مُّبَيِّنَةٍۢ ۚ

وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكْرَهُوا۟ شَيْـًۭٔا وَيَجْعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًۭا كَثِيرًۭا

وَإِنْ أَرَدتُّمُ ٱسْتِبْدَالَ زَوْجٍۢ مَّكَانَ زَوْجٍۢ وَءَاتَيْتُمْ إِحْدَىٰهُنَّ قِنطَارًۭا فَلَا تَأْخُذُوا۟ مِنْهُ شَيْـًٔا ۚ أَتَأْخُذُونَهُۥ بُهْتَـٰنًۭا وَإِثْمًۭا مُّبِينًۭا

O believers! It is not permissible for you to inherit women against their will or mistreat them to make them return some of the dowry ˹as a ransom for divorce˺—unless they are found guilty of adultery. Treat them fairly. If you happen to dislike them, you may hate something which Allah turns into a great blessing.

If you desire to replace a wife with another and you have given the former ˹even˺ a stack of gold ˹as a dowry˺, do not take any of it back. Would you ˹still˺ take it unjustly and very sinfully?

And how could you take it back after having enjoyed each other intimately and she has taken from you a firm commitment?

A final note: many Muslims don't follow Islam when it comes to dealing with women, but instead follow their culture, which can mistreat and exploit women. Muslims are not perfect, and that's why we follow exclusively what aligns with the Quran and what our Prophet, peace be upon him, did, and leave anything that goes against them.

As the Reverts Server team, we hope that this article has clarified some of the common confusions. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to us on our Discord server: https://www.reverts.io/