Why does Islam allow Polygamy?

Polygamy is one of the topics that confuses many people in terms of why it is even allowed, and that's a good question that we will try to address today away from emotions, to understand why it is there in the first place.

And a good thing to note before starting our discussion in this article is that we acknowledge that there are bad Muslims who apply things away from Islam, so our talk is not about them. Our talk is about Islamic rulings and Islam, as we believe that Muslims are humans with desires and weaknesses like all humans.

First, as we know, Islam did prohibit many pre-Islamic habits that existed and were normal culturally, like burying daughters alive, unlimited polygamy without restrictions, treating women as property, drinking alcohol, and many other practices. So the question is, why didn't Islam prohibit polygamy completely too and just add restrictions to it?

Before Islam, people used to have a lot of wives and it was normal in many societies. An example from the pre-Islamic time is the man who came to the Prophet (Peace be upon him) having ten wives, and the Prophet (Peace be upon him) told him to keep four and divorce the rest.

We can also see examples of polygamy in the Bible. Abraham had Sarah and Hagar, with Genesis 16:3 explicitly describing Hagar as being given to Abraham as his wife.

The Bible Gateway

"So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian slave Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife."
Genesis 16:3

Solomon is another example, with 1 Kings 11:3 stating that he had 700 wives and 300 concubines.

The Bible Gateway

"He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray."
1 Kings 11:3

Why didn't Islam prohibit polygamy completely?

So the question now is, why did Islam add a layer of restrictions and emphasise so much the point of providing justice instead of completely prohibiting it?

A good way to understand how Islam sees relationships and how it provides solutions to them is literally like a pharmacy. A pharmacy offers different types of medicine for very different amounts of cases. Some medicines work for certain cases and can be life-saving, and the same medicine can be harmful or even deadly for others.

In Islam, marrying a wife, even if it is the first, can be sinful in some circumstances, can be allowed in others, and can even become a must in some circumstances. The same thing applies to polygamy, and the same thing applies to divorce. Islam didn't give a single dynamic of relationships that everyone must follow because humans are very different and circumstances are very different.

Marrying a wife generally can be unlawful for a person who is single if he knows that he will not be able to fulfil her rights or will harm her. Polygamy can be sinful in the case of a man who knows that he cannot provide for or be just between his wives, and staying single can be sinful in the case of someone who fears that he will fall into adultery if he doesn't get married.

Islamic rulings are about looking at what protects the person and society and what solves people's issues, each according to their own circumstances.

When does polygamy become beneficial?

The question now is, when does polygamy become beneficial?

There are cases where polygamy can provide a solution that other options may not provide.

There are examples on the societal level, such as a war happening where a large number of men die and their wives suddenly become widows. We all know that the circumstances are not always easy for women to work, especially if there is a sudden incident like a war where a lot of women become widows suddenly.

If these women want companionship and financial support but don't have the ability to provide for themselves, what options will they have?

One possible outcome is that some may be pushed towards prostitution, becoming mistresses, or other forms of relationships outside marriage.

Islam provides another option. Men who have the financial and physical ability and who are capable of being just can marry more than one woman, allowing women who need marriage to have a legitimate marriage instead of pushing them towards relationships outside marriage.

And this is important because Islam did not simply give men the option of having more women while giving them freedom to do whatever they want with other women.

Islam also made adultery a major sin and established severe punishments for adultery under Islamic law. So the idea that Islam simply seeks to please men can be questioned by looking at the entire system rather than looking at polygamy on its own.

The point is that Islam promoted marriage and offered solutions that protect marriage bonds, while giving no excuse for any man to commit adultery or to have a mistress.

That's on a societal level.

On an individual level, there are also scenarios where polygamy can provide a solution.

For example, a man may be married to a woman and they may no longer have a good relationship, but they also have responsibilities and circumstances that would make divorce very harmful. We can't be so shallow and say that divorce is always easy and can't sometimes be harmful.

Islam therefore allows, in certain circumstances, the husband to marry a second wife instead of destroying the first marriage, but with very serious conditions. He must be capable of providing for both and he must be just between them. If he knows that he cannot fulfil those responsibilities, then marrying a second wife doesn't become an option for him.

Another scenario is when the man wants to have kids from his bloodline and the woman can't give birth. Instead of telling him to divorce her and marry another woman, he can marry a second wife and still be there for his first wife and continue to care for her.

Another scenario is that sometimes there are needs within a marriage that the wife doesn't want to or can't fulfil for whatever reason. Instead of him going for a mistress or destroying his marriage, polygamy can come as a solution, provided that he is actually capable of fulfilling the responsibilities that come with it.

Of course, I understand the reader's mind that ideally a woman would love to have all her husband's attention and love and to have a stable life, but we can't ignore the fact that life has all kinds of scenarios. We can't act as if there are no cases that require such solutions just because we personally wouldn't want to be in such a situation.

As individuals, Islam gave us the freedom to choose our way of life within what Allah allowed and gave us different options, but this doesn't mean that other people won't ever need the options that we don't need.

And there is another important point here.

When we think about a man having a mistress, you will find that it is cheap, temporary, requires no commitment, has no limitations, no restrictions and no certain number. If Islam wanted to provide men with unlimited access to women, it wouldn't have made all these conditions around polygamy.

Instead, Islam made marriage a serious commitment with financial and marital responsibilities, and if a man chooses polygamy, he must be capable of fulfilling the rights of all his wives and being just between them.

Islam also made it difficult for a man to simply develop relationships with women outside his marriage. It asked women to cover and asked men to lower their gaze, prohibited adultery, prohibited being alone with a non-mahram woman, and established boundaries around relationships between men and women.

So if a man simply wants another woman because he is attracted to her, Islam doesn't tell him, "Go and have a relationship with her."

It tells him that if he wants to make her his wife, there is a whole set of responsibilities and conditions that he has to fulfil. If he isn't willing to fulfil these conditions, then he must cut contact with her, lower his gaze, and control his thoughts.

This is why allowing polygamy with its conditions doesn't mean giving men an excuse to follow temporary lust. Rather, it gives a lawful option for circumstances where marriage may be a solution, while closing the door to temporary and secret relationships outside marriage.

Islam didn't promote deception or exploitation for anyone. If a man is willing to have a second relationship for whatever reasons, Islam requires him to make it a proper marriage with its conditions and responsibilities, rather than allowing him to have a casual or secret relationship with another woman.

The Islamic system greatly reduces the number of men who will be willing to enter a second marriage because of the restrictions and rulings it places on them. It makes a man think many times before entering a second marriage because of the responsibilities it will entail, and at the same time, it doesn't give him the option of having a casual relationship.

The Prophet (ﷺ) also warned men very seriously about failing to treat their wives justly:

"When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of Resurrection with a side hanging down."

Sunan Abi Dawud

Allah also says:

Islam requires a man to divide equally between his wives in the things that are within his control, such as his time, financial support, and treatment. The only thing he will not be held accountable for is what is inside his heart from emotions, because emotions are not completely within a person's control. However, this does not give him permission to treat one wife better than another because of those emotions. What is excused is what is inside the heart itself.

Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) narrated:

"The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) used to divide his time equally and said: O Allah, this is my division concerning what I control, so do not blame me concerning what You control and I do not."

Abu Dawud said that by this, he meant the heart.

Sunan Abi Dawud 2134

Allah also says:

This shows the difference between what a man can control and what he cannot. He cannot control every emotion in his heart, but he is responsible for his actions and for treating his wives fairly in the things that are within his control.

And because of this heavy responsibility, many scholars advise that having only one wife is safer and easier for a man if he is not confident that he can fulfil the rights of multiple wives and answer for them before Allah on the Day of Judgement.

So realistically, the Islamic system goes against cheating and deceiving people.

To give some data to support the point above, let's compare the statistics of polygamy and adultery by married people.

In the US, where polygamy is legally banned, sexual infidelity within marriage still occurs.

In Egypt, where polygamy is legally allowed, fewer than 1% of Muslim men in Egypt live with more than one spouse.

So the point here is that allowing polygamy for the cases that need it and will benefit from it, while punishing adultery and adhering to the Islamic rulings about modesty and lowering the gaze, shows that the Islamic system is not designed to encourage extramarital affairs.

If Islam were all about favouring men, it would have allowed casual relationships that involve no responsibilities and no consequences.

FAQs

Q: What if the first wife doesn't want to stay married after her husband marries a second wife, even though he is treating both wives fairly?

A: She can ask for khulʿ, which means asking to end the marriage. In a khulʿ, the wife normally returns the dowry that her husband gave her in exchange for ending the marriage.

Her children are still the responsibility of their father. He must continue to provide for them financially, even if the parents are no longer married, unless they agree on another arrangement.

Q: What if the first wife doesn't want to stay married after her husband marries a second wife and he is not treating them fairly?

A: If the husband is not treating his wives fairly or is not fulfilling his wife's rights, she can seek a divorce. She is still entitled to the rights that belong to her, including any dowry that is still owed to her.

Q: Can a woman put a condition in her marriage contract that her husband cannot marry another wife?

A: According to some scholars, yes. A woman can make this a condition when she gets married. If her husband later marries another woman despite agreeing to this condition, she can seek to end the marriage while keeping her rights and dowry, according to this scholarly opinion.

May Allah guide the writer and the reader to what pleases Him and make us from those mentioned in this verse:

If you have more questions, you can join our Discord server (Reverts) and make a ticket.